Why Mental Performance Starts with the Parent

When we think about sporting success, we often picture the hours of training, the competition highlights, and the athlete’s dedication. But behind every young athlete is a dedicated sport parent, like you. And your role goes far beyond driving them to training sessions or buying new kit.

Your mindset, words, and behaviours are the foundation on which your child builds their own mental performance.

The Mirror Effect: Children Learn What They See

Athletes often model their parents’ approach to pressure, setbacks, and success. If you stay calm when things go wrong, they’re more likely to bounce back with resilience. If you become anxious, overly critical, or place too much emphasis on results, they’ll absorb those same feelings and behaviours.

Put simply: your reactions set the tone for how they’ll respond under pressure.

This was something I noticed myself, whilst standing at the side of the running track watching my daughter compete. She was nervous, and I could feel my own stomach tightening too. In that moment, I realised she was watching me just as much as she was focusing on the race ahead. If I looked tense, she would become tense as well. If I smiled and stayed calm, she relaxed a little. That was a lightbulb moment for me — her ability to manage pressure didn’t just depend on her training, but also on what she saw in me.

The Scarcity Trap vs. Growth Perspective

Parents naturally want the best for their children. But sometimes this slips into a scarcity mindset:

• “If they don’t make this team now, they’ll never get another chance.”

• “They must win this competition or they’ll fall behind.”

This sense of urgency can unintentionally create pressure. The truth is, sporting pathways are rarely linear. Many athletes peak later, find alternative routes, or use early setbacks as fuel for future success. By shifting to a growth perspective (focusing on progress, effort, and learning), you free your child to perform with confidence rather than fear.

Your Emotional Climate Becomes Theirs

Athletes need a stable emotional base to thrive. If home becomes an extension of the pressure they feel in sport, their resilience may crack. When you bring patience, calm, and encouragement, you give them a safe place to land. This doesn’t mean shielding them from tough moments — but it does mean modelling healthy ways of dealing with frustration, disappointment, and stress.

Practical Ways You Can Boost Their Mental Performance

• Check in with your own mindset first. Before offering feedback after a match, pause and ask yourself whether you're responding from your own frustration, or from what will help your child.

• Praise effort and attitude, not just outcomes. Help your child see the value of hard work, persistence, and team spirit.

• Model recovery. Show how you handle your own challenges — whether that’s bouncing back after a tough day at work, or using calm breathing when stressed.

• Create balance. Encourage interests beyond sport, reinforcing that their identity is bigger than performance.

The Bottom Line

Your child’s mental game doesn’t develop in isolation... it starts with you.

When you nurture your own mindset and role model resilience, you give them the greatest possible gift — the belief that they can handle whatever sport (and life) throws their way.

💭 Reflection for Parents: Below are some reflection questions to help you consider the impact you might be having on your child's mindset.

• How do I usually react when my child wins, loses, or makes a mistake?

• What might my child be learning about handling pressure from watching me?

• What one small change could I make this week to model resilience more clearly?

If you’d like more tools to strengthen your child’s mental performance — and your own confidence as a sports parent, email me today at ginette@thetalentedmind.com.

I'd be more than happy to help you further explore this.